As reported by the Daily Post, a Malekula chief has been sentenced to nearly 7 years in prison for raping a woman twice under the guise of massage. The case highlights a shocking abuse of cultural authority—and shows that not all “happy endings” come with justice.

Because when you say “happy ending,” we didn’t think you meant a courtroom sentencing.

In what must be the most grotesque misunderstanding of the term “happy ending” in massage parlours, a 65-year-old has now secured himself a six-year and ten-month-long extended staycation courtesy of the Vanuatu correctional system. And no, there’s no massage service where he’s going—unless he ends up giving foot rubs in prison for extra noodles.

For those unfamiliar, a “happy ending” in massage parlour slang usually refers to an illicit sexual act offered at the end of a paid massage—something that thrives in dodgy backrooms and under-the-table transactions, not cultural spaces or community service. It’s a term soaked in sleaze, not tradition.

In October 2023, the chief apparently decided to enhance his massage services with two unsolicited sessions of rape—first at the victim’s own home, and then, just to make sure she never feels safe again, at an evacuation centre during a cyclone. Yes, you read that right. He didn’t just breach her body—he did it again when she was already fleeing a natural disaster. Some people chase storms; this one preyed on storm victims.

The Supreme Court didn’t quite see this as a “healing” session. Judge Mackenzie gave him 8 years but chopped off 10 months for his personal background and another 4 months for time already spent in jail. Because nothing says “mitigation” like being married with twelve children. Bonus points for apologizing with cash while the victim was still living on his land—because hush money clearly works better when there’s no power dynamic involved, right?

And the remorse? Well, apparently, no one is sure what exactly he’s sorry for—being caught? Or not using massage oil as a defence?

The real kicker? He has 14 days to appeal. Maybe he’ll say the second incident was part of a “traditional treatment.” Or blame the cyclone winds for clouding his judgement.

Key takeaway? When a community chief weaponizes trust and tradition to commit rape—twice—under the illusion of “massage therapy,” it’s not just a betrayal. It’s a damn disgrace to leadership, culture, and humanity. And if you still think “happy ending” is just a harmless phrase, you’re not listening to the victims.

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